A Reflection From The Past

Jared and I were in many hospitals together over his 25 years here on earth. We had so many doctor visits that when I called the office they took us through the back door. Jared's pediatrician use to tell his receptionists if Lisa calls, get her and Jared in ASAP because she knows him better than anyone! I could tell by Jared's eyes if he was going to get strep or an ear infection or even if he was about to run a fever. I will never forget the time I knew he was about to get an ear infection. His one eye would droop and the fever would come within hours. I called the doctors office and they got me right in. I told the nurse he will have a fever shortly and he has an ear infection. She quickly rattled off to me there was no fever and the doctor will be in shortly. Clearly she was dismissing me as an over protective mother. When Jared's doctor came in about 15 minutes later and we talked he took his temperature again before we left and sure enough the fever was present. I always thought it was mothers intuition but now I realize we have a much deeper connection. All the staff knew us everywhere we went. They should have given us frequent flyer miles for all our hospital stays and doctors visits we endured. Jared and I always got through each challenge together. We knew all to well the smell of the machines and plastics. The beeping of the devices that echoed down the hall. The pulse oximeter we had renamed "the Rudolph finger" just so Jared wouldn't freak out every time he had to have it on. Every time we had Jared's echocardiogram and he had to hold still for about 40 minutes it was all bets off as I read him a new book or promised him a trip to the toy store after it was over. We knew all to well what is was like to live most days with hospital stays and doctors visits. See just one of our difficult memories here https://youtube.com/shorts/9UtJxvaeV1M?feature=shared

Jared and I had gotten through more together in his short time here than most people do in a long lifetime. I never really thought about all the little things we did to get through all the medical issues. From him being born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome to then having a heart transplant to many out patient procedures and I have no idea how many times we went through having tubes put in his ears with chronic ear infections. He also had his tonsils taken out. Oh and there was the time he had an appendectomy to eventually going through stage 4 Hodgins Lymphoma. Yep, much of this I forgot until now. Your mind just has a way of forgetting it and tucking it away until you least expect it.

About a year ago I had these funny nodules start to appear on each hand. After finding out they couldn't be drained it was suggested I have them removed and sent to pathology. One was one my left hand ring finger and started really bother me when I moved that finger as it sat right on my knuckle. Not happy with the findings I knew I had to have it removed. A piece of cake I thought until the day of surgery. As the time approached to go to the surgery center I was mentally preparing myself for the unknown but still felt like there was nothing to fear. As the waiting room filled with people I redirected my thoughts to my emails and listening to one of my spiritual classes I was taking. All of a sudden I heard "Lisa."

I grabbed my bag and headed into the prep area. There laid a gown and a hospital bed with those hospital blankets. The curtain divided me from another patient with the beeping sounds all to familiar. As I touched the hospital gown I said "Do I really have to wear this, I mean you are just doing a procedure on my hands." My nurse was super sweet and she said you can leave your bottoms on I just need need access to monitor your heart rate, blood pressure and the usual protocol. She advised they needed to do an IV just to run a quick round of antibiotics before the procedure. A memory flashed of Jared reacting to an antibiotic he had when he was little he had a severe reaction to it and I said to the nurse I have never heard of this antibiotic she assured me she would go slow and noticed I was a bit uptight. Shortly my Jared tattoo was noticed and I explained my son's legendary life.

I always called him my Jarroody. The surgical staff really thought it was a unique idea to put two of his fingerprints together in the shape of a heart. That helped pass by sometime with the injections in my hands. the "Rudolph" finger was placed on my toe and I smiled at the fact that I have an extraordinary son. As my hands grew numb I sat in silence reminding myself how I always got through difficult issues. I knew I was not being sedated for this surgery and was going to be fully present. I always focused on Jared and said in my head look at what Jared's been through, you got this. I still can do this I thought. After all our minds are a powerful thing. I knew the moment Jared transitioned and he started talking to me that we were still connected I just had to be present and believe all he was telling me. So I wasn't surprised when I got wheeled into my procedure that Jared popped in to tell me he was right there. Cracking jokes and telling me about his day from the other side. He had to mention his zebra story to me and what fun he is having. That will be another blog all together! He was definitely trying to distract me because every time I tried to listen to the surgeon and trying to see if I could feel anything Jared would loudly say "Hey Mom listen I got to tell you about my day." Before I knew it between Jared's chatter and the surgery staff talking about my tattoo my hand surgery was just about over. Even though I had a sterile tent over my head when I was initially wheeled in to the procedure room I had scanned everyone's name tag. As I mentioned everyone's name they were all shocked I knew who was exactly in the room. The surgeon quickly said "Lisa knows exactly who is in this room. That comes with all her years of experience with her son." That was so true as I did that for many years looking at every medical professionals name tag that ever came near Jared!

I am sharing this with all you because Jared asked me to. He wants you to know that the mind is a powerful thing. He also wants you to know your loved ones that have transitioned are still right with you. We are all energy and the more I learn with what he shares with me the more I will share with you. Open your minds to the infinite possibilities. The love that you have shared with your loved ones here on earth is only an arms length away vibrating at a different frequency. When you are quiet within yourself and missing your loved one call on them. Ask them questions. I talk to Jared out loud all the time on difficult days one of my favorite things I ask him is "What do I need to know right now?" Sometimes its one day at a time and maybe one hour at a time. So onward to my recovery thank you for being on this new journey with us.

Much Love and Peace,

Lisa and Jared

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